Ghost Hunters Adventure Club and the Express Train to Nowhere

Hey kid, do you wanna get rich?
I'm talking real rich, real quick. It's easy, and to do it, all the info you need is contained within this book. Keep reading.
Listen, my name is Dr. Cecil H.H. Mills. I'm the author of this book as well as many other better books that you may not have heard of. But this one is fine, I suppose—especially if you want to one day own a yacht.
This is a story about three idiot wannabe detectives: J.J. and Valentine Watts and their new friend Trudi de la Rosa. Again, they're idiots, but in a fun way where they go on adventures and occasionally use swear words. In this book, they're riding a train on official Ghost Hunters Adventure Club business when an old friend from the past shows up to ruin everything. It's up to our three young adventurers to solve the mystery of the Express Train to Nowhere before they're locked away forever for a crime they didn't even commit.
There's action, there's humor, there's suspense, but most importantly there is a detailed set of instructions hidden within these pages that will help both you and me get rich beyond our wildest dreams.
Just buy the book and start reading. You'll learn everything about the Ghost Hunters Adventure Club and my personal get-rich-quick Yacht Plan soon.